Playing the waiting game.

by Kimberly Ang

…because he’s brilliant, and he’s funny and mad, and best of all he really needs you. The trick is, don’t fall in love. I do that trick a lot, sometimes twice a day.

– Clara Oswald

One of my favourite clips from Doctor Who, so underestimated and under viewed. I think this clip really reveals the fundamentals in the relationship between the Doctor and Clara. I just love how it’s presented.

I don’t really know the point I am trying to make (yet). All I know is that I really wanted to share that clip because I think it is a beautiful clip. I also wanted to sit down and really get down to writing proper, but I feel like my words always get stuck and never come out eloquently.

I guess what I am trying to say is, what is it that made Clara the Doctor’s Impossible Girl. What sort of gravitational force of nature draws two strangers together and make them soulmates? What made us compliment each other like two pieces of a puzzle, what made us decide that 7 hours, 11,192km (yes, I googled the distance between Dublin and Singapore) and 40 days were worth waiting. Going beyond waiting, what made us decide it was worth the effort? Or rather to me, what made you decide that I was worth the effort and wait?

Before I go off tangent, I am not going to psycho analyse this thing between us. This is more about the inevitable game of waiting we got ourselves into, willingly subjecting ourselves to the push and pull of our hearts. I remember my secondary school History teach ever tell us about the concept of delayed gratification. Our current generation lives in the now, we never have to wait for anything, we want things quick and instant. Waiting for something, seeing it grow and mature, changing with time and effort put in and the end may prove to be even more satisfying. What’s more is that the value of the entity grows with everyday you wait for fruition.

Waiting was always something that triggered my anxiety. Waiting for a text, a reply, a confirmation, waiting for a person some where even. The feeling of passivity and helplessness, like there a lack of control in the outcome always scared the hell out of me. I’m not the most patient wait(er?). Now with the time, the distance and the days between us, I’m being forced to wait. Granted, technology has paved a huge way for LDRs to work, but then again it’s so tiring and frustration. I can’t see you when I want to see you, I can’t spend time with you as and when I want to be because you literally say good morning when it’s midnight.

If we can survive this, we can survive anything else, can’t we? We can make the rhetorical plans a reality. Sometimes I feel like if we could have some much chemistry between each other miles and miles away from home, we might just explode when we finally meet. It’s scary yet exciting at the same time.

40 days could not come sooner. I keep telling myself it’s only 40, it is barely over a month. It will fly past in a blink of an eye.

Everyday we just keep getting closer and closer.