tell me there is more out there for me.

by Kimberly Ang

In 24 hours time I will be the airport, anxiously waiting to go through the departure gates. Sitting at home right now and thinking about it is both exhilarating and dreadful at the same time. Most of my classmates should be flying off about now, I am glad I am not with them. It would be a wonderful time to disappear for a few hours alone and have some time to myself. Of course if I could maintain my spot in Business Class would be an added bonus but I’m surprised with myself, honestly, for not being used to my complete and utter suay-ness and disappointment already. So much for always having hope.

War with the luggage today proved trying. It was a constant back and forth dilemma between having what I want (ideally) and having what is necessary. I freaked out with the sheer amount of things I realised I had to pack and the weather was driving me crazy and my mum took over for me. Vacuum packing my sweaters was really eye opening though, I never knew how powerful vacuum packing somethings were. My sweater literally shrank to the thickness of my basics. If only other things like my waist could also be vacuum packed. I guess it is the same with the tummy tuck. Here I am, going off on a morbid tangent again.

I really am thankful for the break overseas, which could not come at a better time, forcing me out of my reclusion and really just going into the world without having my world breathing down the back of my neck. I’m looking forward to that honestly. I am so so tired of people weighing me down.

I’m sorry we left things hanging, K. I don’t know if you will ever read my blog, but I’m just a little bit sad we never got the chance we both wanted. Perhaps it was timing. Perhaps we had it all, the intention and chemistry, but we did not have the timing needed for us. And that is okay. I do wish you well, and I believe the whole world between us will change when I come back. So all I do, really, is wish you well and may better things come for you, as they will for me.

I think I’m ready to fly.