Not Just My Job, But God’s Perfect Plan For Me.
by Kimberly Ang
One of the biggest and most amazing faith journeys began about this time of the year, 3 years ago. Those who have read my baptism testimony would already know of the goodness of God’s provision under any unlikely circumstance, in my case the very least. What I was not prepared for was the tumultuous 3 years that followed, where the journey was sometimes so painful to endure, when things that seemed so precious to me were brutally taken away. But “For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.” (Psalm 33:4 NIV)
The biggest test of faith came a year ago. For the first two years of school, things were pretty much smooth sailing. I didn’t get straight As, but I never had to redo a practical or paper ever. I had decent clinical partners, clinicals started off well though not fantastic. I had nothing to complain about, I was average I liked it.
The biggest turning point was last year (thinking about it, it was exactly a year ago. My juniors have just finished their 2C last Friday. Times flies.) when I failed my musculoskeletal (MSK) placement. The last week of my placement was probably the most agonising week I’ve had in my life, where I just could not get things right. Often I cried out and wondered why in the world would God makes things so difficult for me when He provided abundantly and beyond what I could imagine to do something I believed was a calling for me. For a moment there, I doubted God’s plan for me.
The thing is, God never once promised us smooth sailing in our journey with Him. You could ask my pastors, they will tell you to drop by any week for service and to hear on how things aren’t always fine and dandy. It took me a long while after to grasp the fact that I ultimately had to a block of 5 weeks, which killed me inside because I didn’t want to be one block behind my friends. I’m not bad, I’m just average, I did not want to be singled out as someone who failed. It took a long while for the mood swings to settle, for me to stop randomly bursting into furious tears. It took me a long while to understand what it meant when God promised us a Perfect Plan and a Perfect Timing, and not a Perfect Journey.
In the past one year, I have met amazing people who changed the perspective I had about my future job. I was blessed with so many knowledgable and patient people who taught me so many things about my future job. I have been blessed that every since that low point in my journey, things have only been getting better.
I resented MSK after my 2C placement, mainly I realised because until now, I still did not understand why I failed. I did not understand why I was not able to grapple with the skills taught to me. I was blessed to get the chance to redo my clinicals at my future workplace, where my supervisor has now become of my dearest friends. I am so blessed to have someone who patiently taught me everything from the very basics, and eventually broke this mental block I had towards MSK, which mind you is a huge part of physio whether you like it or not. I came to a point where my supervisor for Spine said to me “It’s a shame you do not like MSK, because you are actually good in it.”
It was about then that SIT brought in Trinity College to do a local degree conversion for us. You see, part of my scholarship agreement is that I have to do my degree conversion immediately upon obtaining my diploma, and when I failed my clinicals, my GPA dipped to a frightening 2.45 (thank you 26 credit module. Stupidest marking system or what?) and chances of getting a conditional offer for an overseas university were next to none. With the arrival of SIT, it just expanded the degree conversion option threefold because of their massive intake. God provided a way out the situation, and really, this can only happen when God plans your path.
I’m probably going to end this because I am reaching work and typing this post on my phone has been really difficult, so pardon mistakes that auto correct did not manage to pick up, or picked up too well, either or.
Thank God for the amazing supervisors who have walked this journey with me: Jasmine, Bala, Boon Chong, Min Wee, Siew Yee and most importantly, Mark who have taught me so so much in the past year, though some of you did not make things easy.
And lastly, I think I have learnt to thabk God for the supervisor who failed me back then. In all honesty, if I saw you right now I would still be tempted to kick you accidentally-on-purpose, I’ve been asking God and learning to thank Him for your decision a year ago, for allowing me to come to a point in my life that I realise nothing in this life could compare to the sweetness of His Perfect Timing, that when all of Man fail, The Lord is sovereign enough for me.
And this is my baptism verse, which I have lived out the past year and where the journey is still ongoing: Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord ’s purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21 NIV)
See you in Dublin!